Bad Girl Gone Good

When I was in high school, I absolutely loved receiving my report cards and interims. I couldn't wait until my mom got home so that I could show her my A's and B's... and the occasional C, which are all considered to be great in my house. I often made the second honor roll (all A's and B's), and I even made the first honor roll (all A's) once in my senior year. It felt great to get these grades, and make my parents, and myself proud. The money and other treats I received for getting good grades also felt pretty good as well, LOL! But just the overall feeling of accomplishment was a great treat all on its own. It felt amazing to graduate with a 3.8 GPA, and to be in the top 20 of my class. It also felt amazing to not have something to try to hide...

I wasn't always the good student that I was in high school. In fact, in middle school, I was the exact opposite of a good student. I was a teacher's pest, if that's what you want to call it. I was failing most of my classes. In fact, I was actually held back a year in 6th grade, and I was in question to be held back in my second year of 6th grade and in 7th grade. I just didn't care, and at the time, I thought that it made me all big and bad to have such terrible grades. Along with constantly getting detentions (and skipping them at times). I even got suspended in 7th grade. My bad grades, combined with my horrendous behavior, made me feel like some "bad girl". I thought that it made me cool, which was all I really wanted at the time, as I was being bullied in middle school. I was completely different person back then. I was a little brat that thought she was all big and bad, when I most certainly wasn't.

I got a rush off of showing off my detention notifications reports card full of Fs around the middle school. "LOL, look! I got a detention! HAHA I'm failing everything!" I would run around the school saying, thinking I was impressing people by acting like a dumb brat, when really it only gave them something else to laugh at. But while I got a rush out of it at school, it was a whole other story when I got home. I'd often hide my report cards and detention slips in my locker so my mom couldn't find them. I'd avoid letting her know about my grades or my behavior as much as I could. In fact, I'd even make up stories of things she'd want to hear about my life at school so she wouldn't know the truth. I knew she'd find out about my grades eventually, but I still hid it for as long as I could. But I knew that if she found out about how I acted at school, that she would be really upset. 

I'd eventually end up showing my mom my F filled report cards, or just telling her when I couldn't hide it anymore (when the unavoidable parent-teacher conference would pop up). I would receive some form of punishment, such as not being able to watch my favorite shows, earlier bedtime, ect. And my mom was actually kind of lenient on my punishments, as I was still allowed to attend some school activities, play with my DS, and even have my phone (sometimes taken away), and play outside. But I'd NEVER tell her about my behavior, or the fact that I was being bullied. But eventually I could not hide that anymore either. My parents eventually found out how I really acted, and how my situation at school really was through several parent-teacher conferences, and calls from the school. My mom actually cried when she found all of these things out... But I still continued this behavior and flunking every class though my whole time at the middle school. 

It wasn't until 8th grade, when high school started at my school, that I decided to cut this stupid girl act. I was tired of seeing my parents upset all the time, and having to hide my report cards. I was tired of being yelled at by my teachers, and always being in trouble. I was tired of having to wonder.. what privilege am I losing this report card? Being a bad girl was not going to make me popular in high school. And some of the things that I said and did in middle school would have gotten me my butt kicked in high school, especially as a little 8th grader. I decided then that I needed to get my grades up and start to at least do my school work. I needed to stop reacting to bullies by being a bully back and cursing at them or calling them a name back. I needed to do what the teachers told me to do, and not talk back or be a teacher's pest. I needed to change for the better. My bad grades and actions weren't going to get me anywhere but in more trouble. 

It wasn't easy to change my actions at first. For me it wasn't so much a matter of getting my grades up, as all I really had to do was start doing my homework and turning it in, and that alone brought my grades up to A's, B's, and C's. But changing how I acted in class and how I reacted to negative comments was really hard. I really had to bite my lip at times so that I wouldn't cuss at someone or say something to get me in trouble, or punched in the face. To make matters even worse, the fact that I stopped reacting caused people to intensify the bullying. Trying as hard as possible to get a reaction out of me. But I decided to stay strong and just try to ignore it the best I could. And after a while, the rude and  hurtful comments went down a lot. Sure there were still some dumb comments that lasted through graduation, but it was nothing like before, and as high school progressed, I even made a few friends that made it seem a lot less harsh.

The combination of being on my best behavior, and trying my best in school made my life both in school and at home a lot more pleasant. I no longer felt like my parents and teachers were out to get me or to bring me down. At school I got along much better with my teachers, and even enjoyed being in some of their classes. At home I enjoyed not having my parents all over my back, and the increase in privileges that I had. Getting a computer in my room, and having no parent enforced bedtime was certainly really nice. Not trying to be a bad girl made my life a whole lot easier, especially when I wasn't sitting in detention, in the principal's office, or coming home to see my displeased parents sitting on the couch with some kind of lecture. 

I am not afraid to admit that everything that I did back in middle school, all the excessive cussing, the failing school, the disrespectful things I did, I did for attention. I wanted people to react to this "bad girl." And it certainly drew attention, but not the kind of attention that I wanted. The way I acted gave people a reason to make fun of me. Nobody thought that it was cool, and certainly nobody felt sorry for me. I was taking a bad situation and making it worse. I pity that middle school girl now, and I sometimes have a hard time believing that girl was me.

Changing for the better doesn't mean that you have to be perfect, or a goodie two shoes all time time. I am certainly NOT a goodie two shoes all the time, and I even still break some of the rules and goof off a bit when no one is watching. Gotta have some fun right?! LOL! But I do know when a little rule breaking or goofy-ness crosses the line, and I know not to take it to far. I do the things that I'm supposed to, and thats certainly what matters most. Sure I stayed up past 1:00 am on a school night, and then took a nap in study hall or in my least favorite class sometimes. But I still got the work done. There's no reason that you have to be a perfect angel... because come on, nobody is perfect, even if they may seem like it. Just be careful not to cross the line. You don't need to be straight A student either, just put in the effort and try your best. And if anything.. think of how nice it would be to not have to worry about having your phone or computer taken away. Or getting into even worse trouble... 

I don't know where I would have ended up had I not decided to straighten myself out, but I certainly wouldn't have graduated with a 3.8 GPA, not would I have probably even graduated. I probably wouldn't even be blogging right now. If any of you out there are constantly failing and getting into trouble like I was, pick yourself up. You are much better then what you think. You can go far if you just straighten up, even just a little bit. 

My Make-Up Nightmare

In middle school when I first started getting into make-up, my mom gave me a few basic make-up tips. Although she isn't big into make-up, nor did she ever really wear it or even particularly liked me getting into make-up, she did let me start wearing it. She told me that it was best that I stay as natural as possible with all of my products and not go to dramatic, wash it off at the end of the day to avoid break-outs, and most importantly make sure my foundations and blushes aren't to heavy for my fair skin tone. I didn't listen to most of this. I did wash off my make-up, but I always (and still do) go for really colorful and dramatic eyeshadows and looks, but I enjoy doing this and it's in my tastes. This has never seemed to be a big deal to me, as I like to be creative with my make-up. But I really wish I has listened to her on matching my foundation to my skin, OMG, I wish I had listened!

Of course in middle school when I was just beginning in make-up, I was no where near perfect (still no where near it) or even good at putting on make-up. I didn't even know what eyeshadow primer was, so the color I put on my eyelids would either fade or crease later on. Note that I didn't even know how to create a look really, but just slap on a color or two with the sponge applicator that comes with it. I wouldn't wear eyeliner for the longest time for the fear of poking myself in the eye, and when I first started wearing it, I never knew how to apply it. This probably all had to do with the fact that I just had no experience what-so-ever with make-up, and didn't have much guidance. I was new to make-up, and this is probably typical of a young teen getting into make-up. None of these tiny little beauty fails can even come close to one of the biggest make-up fail that anyone could ever have made. A "what the HELL was I thinking, just OMG, NO" kind of fail. A one-time fail that haunted me for the rest of the school year.

I have fair, light skin, and I always hated it. Trying to get a tan in the sun seemed to do nothing for me, especially with my twelve/ thirteen year old self wanting quick, dramatic results. I would more likely get a sunburn then a suntan. Just another thing that wore on my already low self-esteem in middle school. My skin tone was one of the many things I wanted to change about myself. I thought that darker skin among other things would have made people accept me, and make me not an outcast. This lead me to making a make-up fail that would lead to even more bullying, and names, that would last through the end of my 6th grade year. However, it's best to look back on this with humor, rather then with remorse of my middle school years. 

One day my mom gave me a foundation pallet with 3 different tones; a light one better for my skin tone, a mid tone that may have made a good bronzer, and a dark, dark color for people with much darker skin. My mom told me that the dark wouldn't work for me, but I decided one night to go into the bathroom and play around with the pallet and a few other products. One of the first things I did was swatch the dark color on my skin to see how it looked, it had pretty good coverage, and at the time I thought the color looked just amazing, so I applied it all over my face. "OMG, I found something that can make me look tan," I thought. Looking in the mirror, I thought it looked great. I finally had darker skin. Thinking it looked great, and absolutely amazing, I decided to wear this look to school the next day. I thought everyone would think it was pretty, or even not recognize me and think I was some pretty new student. LOL, WHAT?! I was not a very smart child, haha. But when I got to school, I realized that this was the biggest beauty fail I have ever made in my life.

Not only did I put on a foundation that was way to dark for my skin, but I didn't even bother to blend it down my neck, or place it anywhere else, so it looked like a mask. The other kids were quick to point it out and laugh at it. I also then found out that the color looked orange on my skin rather than tan. The name "Oompa Loompa" quickly piled on to my long list of nicknames, and had Jersey Shore had been out at the time, I probably would have been called Snooki. I ran home that day and washed all the make-up off my face, and never made that mistake again. But the taunts and names lasted until the end of my 6th grade year, and into 7th grade. More then likely, even if I wasn't already a bullying target in my school, I would have still have gotten some mean comments, just probably not as many. It may even be easier for me to laugh at this rather than remembering it as a make-up nightmare.  

Bad middle school memories aside, I did learn an important beauty lesson. Pick the right colors for your skin tone, and match your foundation to your skin tone, not the one you want. It'll look much nicer if it matches up to your skin tone. Slightly darker colors are for bronzer and low-lighting, not for all over foundation. And, it's super important to blend your foundation down your neck, and not end it at the bottom of your chin. We all have to learn somehow, don't we? 

Almost all of us make beauty bloopers at some point in our life, especially when we're young. We just need to learn to look back on them and laugh, and learn from our mistakes. Usually they won't end up in bullying, this was just because of my already bad situation. They may get a few comments if they are major but not always. Sometimes people may not even notice, or remember what happened back in middle school, as they probably did the same things. Even my big fail seemed to have been forgotten by the time we all moved to the high school in 8th grade as I started getting better and better with make-up. 

What are some of your beauty fails? 

Glitter Diaries: Graduation

Well, they day I have been waiting for has arrived. Five years have passed since I stepped into this high school to begin 8th grade, and really started to actually care about school. So many memories have been made over the last few years. I still remember my first day of 8th grade, and 9th grade like it was yesterday. I still have memories from elementary and middle school that will last a lifetime, both good and bad. It blows my mind that this whole phase of my life is over and done with. Faces that I had once seen every day, I will never see again, unless I happen to come across them somewhere, or decide to go to high school reunions. While I am kind of sad, I know that there is so much more that lies ahead.  There are new people to meet, places to go, and memories to make. This is the time to change my life for the better, and set the way for the rest of my life.

A new life is within close reach. I will be moving this summer, and college is just months away. Getting a job and making money is also really close. I'm just a few short years from graduating college and hopefully working my dream job. Who knows, within the next few years I may even find the boy of my dreams. You never know what might happen. It's really scary, not knowing what the next few years will bring, and all that lies ahead, but it's also really exciting. I am now in control of my own destiny, and surely there will be obstacles that will come up that could change my path, or make it harder to reach. But what would life be without it challenges? It would be dull and boring if you could always get your way, and you wouldn't appreciate it as much when things did go as you planned. Don't be afraid to take chances, even if it goes wrong, you have learned something from it. 

I still have a ton of growing up to do, and it has yet to hit me that I am actually an adult now. Which is why instead of moving out on my own, I'll be moving up to where my Dad lives this summer. It's a change of scenery, but I won't be on my own. This also helps because I know I won't be able to balance a full-time job with college. Let alone adding in a social life and blogging. I want to be able to use my first few paychecks to go shopping, rather then using them to pay bills, LOL! The moving date isn't set in stone yet, but hopefully it'll be sometime in July. I have never gone through a move before, so it's a really exciting thing for me.

This last weekend has been full of excitement. From my graduation on Saturday, and my step-brother's graduation on Sunday, then our combined graduation party on Memorial Day. Which, while I am a day late... Let's not forget those who died in the line of duty fighting for our freedom's. Without the brave soldiers, and their families who make this sacrifice, my life would not be of the quality that it is today. If it wasn't for them putting there lives on the line, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog post. I wouldn't be able to complain the way I do at times. I may not even have the choice in the way I dress. I also might not have been able to achieve getting my high school diploma. To all those who died in the line of duty, currently serving in the military, will be serving, and have ever served our country, thank you for all you have done to keep this country safe and free. 

The last few years have been quite a ride. They have had their ups and downs, and there have certainly been times when I wanted to hurry up to this moment, as well as slow time down. There is certainly so much more to come from here. I am getting off the roller coaster of my childhood, and heading to the bigger, and scarier yet exciting roller coaster of adulthood. I  plan to keep you guys updated on anything exciting that happens in my life. I will continue writing my beauty and lifestyle posts for Angelic Glitter for as long as I can! I will post as much as I can this summer, and no matter how busy I get, I'll try to find some time to write some posts for you guys. While I do only have a small amount of readers, you guys all mean so much to me! I have always wanted to write, and have my own blog, and now it's a reality. I hope to grow my audience in the future... I just have to keep at it!

I would like to thank all of my followers for the past 5 months. Blogging has made my final semester of high school amazing! I would also like to thank my family and friends for getting me to this point today. I will not forget any of you as I continue my journey. Even if I didn't always get along with my family, I still appreciate the things that they have done for me. And to my high school friends, while we are going our separate ways, you have certainly made my time here at RHS worth while. :)

Congratulation's Class Of 2013, We Made It!!

Glitter Diaries: An Epic Weekend..

Before I start the post I'd like to say... My oh my it's been a while.  I haven't posted a whole lot this month, and I haven't made a post for two weeks. I have gotten a little busy, and a bit lazy over the last two weeks. Sorry about that everyone. :( I am back now, and I will be back on my two or more posts a week schedule soon. You can also check out my tumblr and my twitter for more constant updates. Okay Now on to my epic weekend! 

OH MY GOSH! This past weekend has been AMAZING! Just absolutely everything was perfect! I got to talk to my dad who I haven't seen in months, I went to prom, has a great time at post prom, found my 5 year old self, and I got an iPhone 5! This has probably been the best weekend I've had in a long time, if not ever! This may also be the first time I've ever had two exciting days in a row, LOL.

I woke up a little earlier then I would on a normal Saturday to start getting myself ready. I did everything myself; hair, nails, and make-up. I would say everything turned out nicely, although I did get glitter everywhere when I did my nails. As I was finishing up, about two hours before prom, out of the blue, my dad comes over to my house. It was nice to get back in touch with my dad after not talking to him since August. There were a few reasons why he'd been away, one being no real way to communicate because I didn't have a phone. Yes, I was one of the few people without a phone for several long months. It's harder then it sounds, LOL! But that leads us to the next exciting part, my dad decided to get me an iPhone 5. I absolutely love it! He originally planned on me to get it Saturday,  but we decided to go Sunday instead because there wouldn't have been enough time between getting to the Sprint store, and getting back here to get to prom. 

With having a new phone, I'll be able to update on tumblr and twitter more often. I'll also soon be joining a few other social networking sites. 

After setting up a time for my dad to come pick me up Sunday, he took off so I could finish getting dressed for prom. Before anyone asks... no I didn't have a date. I just danced with a few friends and had a great time, it was am amazing night. We first arrived at the high school for promenade, and the school, and everyone there, looked absolutely fantastic. I loved walking on a little red carpet to get inside, LOL! After that we took off for our prom venue. We ate dinner, and oh my gosh I ate so much yummy food between prom and post-prom, then after dinner came the dance. The music wasn't exactly  my favorite, but I wasn't expecting them to play Blood On The Dance Floor or Black Veil Brides, LOL! I still had fun and danced my ba-donkey-donk off. My legs are still really sore, hahaha. You really don't need a date to have at prom, just go with some friends and have fun. :)

After prom came post-prom, and let's be honest. While I had a great time at prom, I think I had more fun at post prom, LOL. We went to Acres Of Fun, and they have a pretty good amount of things to do. They have arcade games, laser tag, go carts, roller skating, and.. THE BALL PITS! I am a 5 year old stuck in a 19 year old body, so I just had to play on the playground and dive into the ball pit. I think the ball pit may have even been my favorite part of the night. I felt like I was 5 years old again! I didn't spend the whole night in the ball pit (but a lot of it, LOL!). I also played a few games, and ate a lot of yummy food. I  loved how they had all that good food for free, for us to grab at will. There were also prizes for us to win in a raffle. I didn't want to go back home!

Because I'm so easily amused, by everything, and anything. I even kinda enjoyed the bus ride. And as we were getting on the bus to leave for post-prom, ALL of the lights around us went out for a few seconds, it was a little freaky, LOL! One minute I was talking to the people around me, then we look outside and it's pitch black out. All of the lights in the parking lot, the lights of the old high school, and the lights of the new  high school went out. Just a random part of my night, LOL. 

With everything, I had a great time. The weather was amazing on Saturday, and although it rained on Sunday as I was getting my iPhone, it was still a great day. This school year is coming to an end really quickly. All that's left is the choir trip to Cedar Point, and graduation then I'm done with high school forever. This has been such a great year, and the last month of school it going to go by fast now. :) 

Glitter Diaries: Job Shadowing

At my school we have these character learning, or cohort, groups that we have to meet in every once in a while. Last year we met with our cohort groups every other week to learn about different traits of good character such as respect, compassion, integrity, honesty, empathy, and cooperation. Things that we should have been taught when we were little by our parents and elementary school teachers. Many students, myself included, and even teachers didn't see much point in these groups. Most of us know what good character is, whether or not we choose to use it is up to us. Sure it is nice to have these ideas reinforced, but I don't it should have been in a forced cohort group. It didn't help that nobody, not even the teachers, took it that seriously, and we didn't do many hands on activities. 

This year, we only meet in cohort groups once every few months, and it's a little more activity based. Freshman went on some kind of team building field trip, and did other things outside of the school. I'm not sure exactly what sophomores did, but they had some kind of an assembly. I just know that juniors and seniors were forced to do job shadowing. We had to think of a career were were interested in, and on our own, with no help from the school, find someone from that job that we could go to work with for 4 hours to see what their day is like and experience that workplace. After that we're expected to write a 2 page essay on how our day went. And as you can probably guess, our initial reaction was "WHAT?! Why are we being forced to do this? This is so stupid!" Even though we got a day off school to do it. Personally, I would have actually been thrilled about the opportunity, had it not been forced on us, and we would have had help setting it up (and if we didn't have to write an essay, LOL). 

They didn't want us to pick something that was convenient for us such as job shadowing a family member unless that's the job we really wanted, nor did they even want us to be in town, but many of us did just that, LOL. I decided to job shadow at the elementary school with the teacher I helped out for my quest class. Teaching isn't really my dream job, but I have always had an interest in it. If becoming a writer, or interior designer doesn't work out, I would definitely turn to teaching. 

So here is how my day went... 

Of course, I woke up grumpy at the fact that I was being forced to do this. Admittedly though, there was a bit of excitement. I mean I did get to sleep in, and I didn't have to go to class. And the fact that I was going somewhere I was familiar with made me feel a bit better about it, and calmed my nerves a bit. I pretty much knew exactly what to expect when I got there. I knew everyone in the office, I knew where most things were in the building, I was confident with it. Although I did feel like a bit of a fail when I couldn't find the teacher I was job shadowing right away, LOL. But after I found her the day went really well, and it was actually really enjoyable. 

I started off the job watching the kids eat lunch. Making sure they are following the rules, and helping them open the things they needed opened. Made me remember how I always needed things opened for me when I was little, and I sure did get a workout running around the cafeteria to help the kids out. Although I did think they were really strict on these kids during lunch, and I didn't agree with the rules (no talking, no buying seconds, ect...), I had to go by them. After lunch, I really got into the teaching part of it and helped out with the classroom.

The teacher I was with teaches kindergarten specials, and it was art day when I was there. The kids were decorating valentine bags. Oh how I miss the elementary days when everyone got a valentine and got to eat candy, LOL. My job was to walk around the room and make sure they were following directions, and to decorate bags for the kids that were absent. The hardest part was keeping the kids calm, because let me tell you, kindergartners are rowdy and energetic! Not all of them want to follow the rules, and some seem to not know exactly what the rules are. They're little though, and they'll learn, and their energy is still really fun. The little kids are really sweet, and they say the cutest things! 

At the end of the day I was tired, and ready to go home but I did enjoy my day at the elementary. Everyone was friendly, and I had a good time job shadowing there. If I actually were to become a teacher, I'd prefer to work with kids that are a little bit older, and that have more independence and a better understanding of the rules, but the kindergartners were fun in their own way. :)